I’m going to post my latest version of a script idea I had for this week’s writing challenge because I think the early description of setting is very big and bold and influences how the characters are portrayed in the early scenes. Take a look.


FADE IN: Interior Hallway, Day.


A custodian mops at the end of a long, dimly lit hallway. Awards and pictures of various athletes align the walls. Faint audio can be heard from a radio atop the custodian’s cart. As the camera comes closer to the custodian the audio can be heard more clearly. A press conference is starting.


Football Commissioner (OS)

Today I have some deeply unsettling news for fans of professional football.


The custodian places his mop into a nearby bucket and races into a nearby room. He turns on the television to see the press conference.




INTERIOR: Press Room, Day


The commissioner of professional football stands before a gigantic press core. Lights beam off of his face and a consistent audible stream of camera shutters can be heard while he speaks.


Football Commissioner

Because of Congress’ historic mandates in the recent class action chronic traumatic encephalopathy lawsuit brought about by former players of our league, we no longer possess the ability to provide a safe working environment for the athletes that play our sport.


The sound of cameras become louder and reporters shout inaudible questions.


Football Commissioner

These new, federally mandated, laws require a level of protection inside of a helmet that will not be available anywhere in the near future, if ever.


The commissioner sighs and struggles to say the next words on his page.


Football Commissioner

Due to these revelations, effective immediately, all football-related activities on the league schedule have been canceled. I have no further comment on this story.


The commissioner walks away from the podium and out of the room. An assistant takes over at the podium and attempts to manage a now frenzied press core. The camera fades back.





  • Various shots of decaying football fields, Jersey returns and the discarding of professional football related products are shown while the off-screen voiceover speaks.


James (VO, OS)

The world died a little when they took football away from us. There was countless litigation regarding the decision but without a helmet that would stop the concussions, the feds didn’t budge. People tried playing flag football in 7-on-7 leagues but it could never garner the same interest. Society mourned and lamented the sport everyway they could. But, eventually, most people forgot about it. The others turned to different, socially acceptable, sports. Some people, though, some people took to the darker corners of cities and formed underground leagues full of greed, corruption and every malfeasance imaginable. Law enforcement tried to dismantle the leagues, but they lost themselves amidst the money, guns, drugs and sex.


Who wouldn’t?




Black Screen:


SUPER: “Five Years Later…”


EXTERIOR: Dusk, parking lot.


A car pulls into a sparsely inhabited parking lot. The car stops quickly and out jumps James, a former collegiate slot receiver turned medical specialist. He maneuvers over a chain-link fence and runs toward a dark storehouse. James is late.


James approaches the back entrance of the storehouse and music from a speaker begins to become more apparent. He shows a badge to two mammoth guards and makes his way through the rest of the security/ James opens the door and walks into a thunderstorm. Spotlights scan the room, music is blaring and people are yelling – some drunkenly – and screaming at the action on (and off) the field.


Finally, James gets to the border of the sunken field, climbs down to field level and enters the sideline area for the ghosts. Rachel, his assistant, greets him.



Where have you been?



There was traffic.



There never is traffic.



Well, there was today.



(Pointing to the field)

Your brother is lighting it up tonight.


James’ brother Michael, is the quarterback for the ghosts. The action on the field shows Michael running an outside zone read play, weaving his way through defenders and jumping over tacklers on his way to the score. The ghosts lead the tigers 28-6. The camera pans upward to an approving Heaven, owner of the underground Ground House Ghosts, area drug queen-pen and girlfriend to Michael.


After celebrating with his teammates Michael greets his brother on the sideline.

4 Comment on “Not For Long 5/16 update

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