This is the second draft of my second segment in the “Diaries” series. I still have two more pages I have to write but, with this draft, there definitely is a clear sense of the play now – which is kind of cool. Take a loo (The formatting may be a bit off with the paste):

Scene One

 

Setting: Curtain

 

At Rise: Curtain does not rise. HAILEY walks to center stage from behind the curtain. She comes out from behind the curtain and addresses the audience.

 

HAILEY

After it all happened and after the snow started to fall we started to really talk. I told Adam all of our stories and Adam, he told me his – the ones I never really knew. The ones that happened before we met and the ones that happened while we were apart. He always goes back to a conversation with Anna at a diner and says that is where he really learned about love.

(Laughs)

Only Adam can say he really learned about love next to bacon and sausage.

 

HAILEY walks off stage.

 

Scene Two

 

Setting: Diner

 

At Rise: ADAM and ANNA enter stage left. They look around, notice a sign saying seat “yourselves” and walk to a booth and sit down.

 

ANNA

Ok, so, there are four running jokes in my family.

 

ADAM (playing with the salt shaker)

 

ANNA

I don’t know if they are jokes in the traditional “ha ha” sense of jokes, but they are topics that our conversations always fall back to.

 

The WAITRESS enters, comes over to the table.

 

WAITRESS

What can I get ya?

 

 

ADAM

Bacon and eggs with a side of sausage. A large OJ too.

 

WAITRESS

Cool. And you?

 

ANNA

Huevos Rancheros. Can you do the salsa on the side?

 

WAITRESS

 

ADAM (to WAITRESS)

Are they really Huevos Rancheros if the Salsa is on the side?

 

ANNA

Every time.

 

WAITRESS (Smiling)

No, but we can make it like that. Coffee?

 

ANNA

Yes, please.

 

The WAITRESS walks into the kitchen.

 

ANNA

Where was I?

 

ADAM (building a castle with packets on the table)

The running jokes in your family.

 

ANNA

I swear you’re a five year old masquerading as a 25 year old.

 

ADAM

Tell your story.

(Looks up from his packet building)

Stupid head.

 

ANNA

They revolve around my family’s nationality, my dad’s feet, my mother’s inadvertent racism and death.

 

 

ADAM (Intrigued, cleaning up his mess)

Death is a running joke in your family?

 

ANNA

Death is a running joke in every family, if you ask me.

 

ADAM

That’s not morose at all.

 

ANNA

Think about it. We are getting to the age where our parents, grandparents or just other people in our lives know, or are, someone who is dying. There was a period in my family where it seemed like every other week someone was flat lining (Adam laughs). We we’re talking about it so often that it was getting to the point where it was really morose and draining. But one day someone brought it up and I just looked at my clock and said “7:00 p.m. first instance of death in our house” and we all just broke out in laughter.

 

ADAM

It was cathartic.

 

ANNA (excited, bangs her hands on the table)

It was totally cathartic!

 

The WAITRESS enters, brings over the drinks and then leaves.

 

ADAM

What about the other three?

 

ANNA

Well, the feet thing is obvious. Stinky feet, ha ha ha, very funny right? Easy laugh. The other two are a little more complex. Like, my mom isn’t a racist. She is the most compassionate, caring person I know and would move heaven and earth for you. But she can say something every now and then as if she was a cliché TV parent to which I have to reply, “you can’t say those things anymore.”

 

ADAM

Total Seinfeld moment.

 

ANNA

 

ADAM

What about the nationality thing?

 

ANNA

I’m a mix of things but my parents are mostly Irish so that is always the type of culture they identify with and sometimes try to goad me into accepting more than anything else.

 

ADAM

And you don’t?

 

ANNA

Hell no. I’m French – on my Dad’s side mainly – but in my heart I’m all French. I love the culture, the history, the aesthetic, the food. Oh, god, I love the food. Going to France is top three on the things I want to do – multiple times. The reason it’s a running joke is it keeps happening – probably, intentionally just to get this reaction out of me but, in the context of whatever conversation we have, it can be pretty funny.

 

The WAITRESS enters from the Kitchen and gives ADAM and ANNA their food.

 

WAITRESS

Anything else I can get you guys?

 

ANNA shakes her head.

 

ADAM

We’re good.

 

The WAITRESS exits.

 

ADAM

I love Eggs.

 

ANNA

Eggs are awesome.

 

ADAM

You’re awesome.

 

ANNA

We’re not going to be that couple, are we?

 

ADAM

I think it’s fun being cute.

 

ANNA

But doesn’t that cute phase fade and lead into some depressing “Why aren’t we in the cute phase” phase anymore?

 

ADAM

I don’t think so. But if it really bugs you I’ll never call you awesome again.

 

ANNA (laughing)

Good. I’m glad we agree.

 

ADAM and ANNA silently eat their food for a moment, look around the diner and back to their food.

 

ANNA

I think you need to take initiative more.

 

ADAM (A little defensive)

I take initiative.

 

ANNA

No you don’t.

 

ADAM

I so do.

 

ANNA

Give me an example.

 

ADAM

I take initiative at work all the time. Hell, doing this internship was all initiative.

 

ANNA

When was the last time you took initiative in your personal life?

 

ADAM pauses, tries to think of an example.

 

 

 

ANNA

You let HAILEY walk away, I made the first move in our relationship and now I’m the one that has to bring this up.

 

ADAM

Why are you talking about this?

 

ANNA

If you don’t start actively seeking what you want in your life you are never going to get it.

 

ADAM

We were having such a nice meal.

 

ANNA

You are a great person and you deserve to be happy.

 

ADAM

Am I not happy?

 

ANNA

You definitely are not. And that’s why we have to break up.

 

ADAM (Shocked)

What?!

 

ANNA

I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore.

 

ANNA gets up, grabs her stuff and slowly walks to the checkout counter. As she is about to walk off stage she looks back at ADAM.

 

ADAM

ANNA!

 

ANNA exits. Shocked, ADAM places his hands on his head and slouches in his seat.

 

ADAM (In disbelief)

Seriously?

 

ANNA enters and walks quickly back to ADAM and sits back down.

 

ANNA

Are you serious?

 

ADAM

I have no clue what’s going on.

 

ANNA

That’s evident. Do you love me?

 

ADAM

Of course.

 

ANNA

No, say it!

 

ADAM

I love you!

 

ANNA

Then why were you going to let me walk out on you in the middle of a damn diner?

 

ADAM (overlapping)

I wasn’t!

 

ANNA

You didn’t move!

 

ADAM

I was going to!

 

ANNA

No you were not ADAM. (Getting up) When a woman, who you love, walks to the checkout counter (walks to the checkout counter) and is about to leave, you go get her!

 

ADAM gets up and goes to ANNA. He places his hands on her hips, brings her in closer and opens his mouth to speak.

 

 

ANNA

No. No words. Just kiss me.

 

They kiss. The WAITRESS enters from the kitchen.

 

WAITRESS (pointing to the table)

Should I box these?

 

ANNA

Oh, sorry, no. I’m not done yet.

 

ANNA smiles and they go back to the booth. The WAITRESS exits.

 

ANNA

Can you pass the salt?

 

ADAM passes the salt to ANNA.

 

ADAM

So that’s the type of couple we are going to be?

 

ANNA (eating)

 

ADAM

 

ANNA

Are you going to be okay with that?

 

ADAM smiles.

 

ADAM

Are you?

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Welcome to the empty recesses of my mind! I'm a recent college graduate realizing a Creative Writing degree was a bad idea. Give me a pity like. Or you could check out the about sections (on the front page and about this author page) on my blog to learn a little more about me. Whatever. https://thebohemianrockstarpresents.wordpress.com/

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