My resolution for the new year was to develop a consistent writing routine as a means of developing my craft, producing content, and trying to figure out where I want to take my writing career post-college. I’ve done that, to an extent. I’ve gotten myself on here and have at the least attempted to produce one thing every day and I think I have become better for it. I have an idea of where I would like to go post-college, although I am open to things as they come at me. I’m happy with myself and this blog. The thing that I’m noticing lately, though, is that I don’t have anything I can point to as a work that clearly resembles me.
I think I do things well. I think, when I spend time with it, I write aesthetically pleasing poetry, engaging, sometimes humorous, fiction, and inspired ideas for screen (WDS and NFL – although NFL is nowhere near completed). But when I look at all of these things, including the journalism clips, I don’t know if there is something I can point to and say “That is my definitive work. This encompasses who I am and what I want to say and where I want to take my readers.” I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
Part of me likes that, creatively, I’m all over the place. I like that one day I can do verse all day and then the next I want to write something for the stage. I like letting that process develop naturally and it is kind of the new point of this blog (When I first created it, it was solely a place to put/copy journalism clips). But part of me feels conflicted that my overall direction may suffer because I haven’t defined myself in regards to my writing. I am no poet, novelist, playwright or screen writer. I view myself as a writer. I view myself as all of those things. The question that I have been grappling with in the last 24 hours is if I am all of those things, am I none of those things?
I don’t know either way. I think once I find my next big project (I think it might be NaPoWriMo related) I might find a little comfort in doing one thing for awhile. But, like I’ve been saying, I think I will desperately want to do something else after that.
I hate being defined yet I yearn to know myself. I think that is where my writing is birthed in. If I can figure out how to harness that feeling, in whatever I do, I think I’ll be happy. (And hopefully successful).