Part of me really wanted to write about going to France. I really want to go to France. I started mapping out a post about dropping everything and just going. But the funny thing about that is the more I started to map it out in my head – where I would go, what I would do – The more planned it felt. It didn’t feel impulsive at all. That’s why I’m going to write about something different.
I rationalized the idea of an internship in Walt Disney World to everyone it affected. To my parents I said I needed a new start, that it would look good on a resume. To my roommates I said I would be back and that I would help out with rent from far away. The fact of the matter is I just wanted to do it. I needed a change. I needed a new me. I needed to be alone, on my own, and find myself again. I do the best when I am in that situation.
I remember dropping my Dad off at the airport in Orlando (he had flown to Albuquerque to help me drive out to Florida) and getting back on the highway just thinking “what the fuck did I get myself in to?” The thing about it is even though I was nervous and freaked out, I responded. I respond when I am in that type of emotional/mental field. I needed to go through that again.
Reflecting on it all, my days spent doing custodial in the Magic Kingdom were some of my favorite days I’ve had in my life. It took me a week or two to actually get into what it meant to work there, but once I did I was unstoppable. I was a character. I answered questions and got to make people smile. While this is overly simplified, I found me again. I liked who I was there. (I even wrote a screenplay about it after my internship).
My point being is sometimes the crazy, poorly though out ventures into life are what you need. They allow you to experience life and not just a routine. I think there is a school of thought that life is what happens to you and another that is life is what you make of it. Sometimes you just have to make irrational, impulsive choices. Because it is in those moments that you learn the most about yourself.
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