A couple of days ago I started to write a post that I was calling the ten things not to say to your wife/girlfriend. The intended post really stemmed out from one joke that I thought was funny and then a bunch that were really played out. That’s why I decided not to publish it.

Last night I started thinking about that and if there was something that I could do that was enough like it.  And, while it didn’t provide for the best one-liners, the thought of doing a post about my faults made me smile.  So, let’s give that a try:

  1. I read about the first 100 pages of books and skim the rest. I hate that I do that. By the time I get that far into a book I usually find something else that garners my attention and I totally forget about the first book. It bugs the daylights out of me. Seemingly the only time I finish a book is when I have to read it for a class.
  2. My feet will always smell. Socks, no socks, sneakers, sandals, slippers – there is no cure. Old spice and gold bond have a customer for life. Thanks genetics!
  3.  My smile. I need to get a job so I can get to a dentist and give him/her just an obscene amount of money. I’ll leave it at that.
  4. My eyes. Wait, I actually I have nice eyes. I like my eyes a lot. I think what I mean when I say my eyes is my rationale for saying my eyes. I typically delve into a story where (paraphrasing) I justify having nice eyes based off a compliment received from a stripper in Albuquerque. Good times.
  5. My obsessive-compulsive addiction to Pepsi. I swear, if I ever get back on an eating/drink healthy kick, I will lose so much weight by simply not drinking soda anymore.
  6. My appreciation for singer/songwriter and alternative bands of the nineties. It’s cliché and I’m better than that. (I’m also writing this while listening to the Counting Crows’ “August and Everything After” album.)
  7. My love for romantic comedies. I don’t think this is a fault – society does.
  8. I rationalize wasting money on cheap movies: “They’re the books of the future!” No Nick standing in any Walmart ever, they’re not.
  9. My overwhelming need to be remembered eternally.
  10. I think piles of clothing at opposite ends of the room is an adequate organizational system.

 

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Welcome to the empty recesses of my mind! I'm a recent college graduate realizing a Creative Writing degree was a bad idea. Give me a pity like. Or you could check out the about sections (on the front page and about this author page) on my blog to learn a little more about me. Whatever. https://thebohemianrockstarpresents.wordpress.com/

3 Comment on “My ten biggest faults

  1. Pingback: No Apologies | The Bohemian Rock Star's "Untitled Project"

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