Lately I have been thinking about my social media profiles (the ones that are not explicit fetish sites – just kidding…) and how my posting has shifted based on the people I allow to follow or friend me. As I age there are more people watching what I say on these sites because everything we say or do behind a computer screen matters. It really does. Like a lot. Sarcasm. Ha.

What I want to do for my first post in more than two months (I’ll get into that in my next doyc) is kind of release all the things I have wanted to say in a somewhat farcical top ten – The top ten things I can no longer say on Facebook or Twitter: because if I do I will either have to apologize to conservative members of social media groups, forge ridiculous arguments with extended family members or have to hypocritically lie to other constituents about the nature of my work. Ok, shitty title. Let’s take out everything after the hyphen.

 

 

#1 “I want to go kill a hooker.”

 

I used to say this a lot. Like if things ever got boring or there was a dull moment in a conversation. I’d just get up, say “I’m off to go kill a hooker” and exit the room. I can’t say that anymore. I advocate against killing. So joking about it in such a juvenile, albeit hilariously ridiculous manner, is inappropriate.

 

#2 “Fuuuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkk.”

 

I believe Fuck is an appropriate verb to use to express either an excessive amount of jubilation or frustration towards any specific subject. Many people, however, do not. So I kind of don’t do it anymore because I don’t want to have to waste my day defending my ideology in comment threads.

 

#3:I want to fuck my (insert person x)

 

Remember when you first joined social media, back in 2005, and it was all about hooking up and talking about hooking up? I miss those days.

 

(Update later this weekend!)

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Welcome to the empty recesses of my mind! I'm a recent college graduate realizing a Creative Writing degree was a bad idea. Give me a pity like. Or you could check out the about sections (on the front page and about this author page) on my blog to learn a little more about me. Whatever. https://thebohemianrockstarpresents.wordpress.com/

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