Did you know Kim and Kanye had a baby? Who knew she was even pregnant? I’m surprised we peons even know because putting their business on the streets just isn’t their thing.
That was fun, wasn’t it? For the last couple of days my feeds have been inundated with posts relating to the newest dual member of the Kardashian brood and Roc Nation. Frankly, I have found myself day-dreaming of things I care less than the story that they had a kid. Here are a couple of things (in no particular order):
- People who post pictures of hurt animals on Social Media sites. Have you ever trolled your timeline and have found those “OMG!!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THESE SICK FUCKS!!!!” posts with some sort of mangled dog or cat from one of your friends, typically urging you to do something but never really providing a link on how to do something? So, in essence, they are perpetuating the ideals of the thing they are fighting against.
- Terrorism. That’s never any good.
- The show that comes on after The Voice. That Nick Lachey thing … The Winner Is! My mom says it’s good. I just can’t buy into any more singing shows.
- Hockey. It’s kind of sacrilegious right now because of how the Bruins are doing in the Finals, but I have a theory: Hockey is white people’s Soccer. For seven years in New Mexico I never talked about as much hockey as I have in the past three months. It feels like I am being strapped down to watch the World Cup all over again.
- Facebook Ads. My last name is Christian and I am single. That does NOT mean I want to date single Christians.
- Overly Attached Girlfriend memes … Check that, crazy is hot.
- Rape. No means no, ladies.
- The Miami Heat. (Totally Justifiable).
- People who want to grow up to be critics. I was in a transfer orientation class and a kid raised his hand and said he was studying to become a literary critic. I just don’t get that. How can you have the credibility to comment on other’s creativity when you have actively chosen not to utilize that part of your writing ability?
- Tim Tebow stories. As a Patriots’ fan this is more of a preemptive clause. I have a feeling it will be a long season of pointless stories with hardly any actual substance.