I wrote the following while watching The West Wing on Netflix. In the middle of the third season I saw a picture of the American Flag and starting humming the National Anthem (because that’s what people with some form of Insomnia actually do) which led me to think of how I would use it for a prompt. I then thought about something my dad said earlier in the day about asking his IPhone 5 where to get a hooker (jokingly of course, I’m the only one on either side of my family that would even consider…) which then let me mash the two ideas together. Take a look at my first draft (I’m still playing with the punctuation):

DSC05020 Oh say can you see

That girl on the corner?

By the dawn’s early light

She sells herself for money;

What so proudly we hail’d

as she delved in her Dalliance

At the Twilight’s last gleaming –

Hope is all she has.

Whose Broad Stripes and Bright Stars

Barely Cover up her sorrow

Through the Perilous Fight –

Which lasts every morrow –

O’er the ramparts we watched

As the dream was botched

Were so gallantly streaming;

While a nation Lys unbelieving:

And the Rocket’s Red Glare

The Blood spattered in her hair

The bombs bursting in air

She silently screams “unfair!”

Gave proof through the night

of a Nation’s impending Blight,

That our flag was still there

watching silently impaired.

O say

what you will

does that star-spangled banner yet wave

goodbye to every decent theme

O’er the land of the free,

as long as there’s funding,

and the home of the brave

pre-destined fools.


Welcome to the empty recesses of my mind! I'm a recent college graduate realizing a Creative Writing degree was a bad idea. Give me a pity like. Or you could check out the about sections (on the front page and about this author page) on my blog to learn a little more about me. Whatever. https://thebohemianrockstarpresents.wordpress.com/

One Comment on ““Oh say can you see”

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