It’s the last week of subbing for me. APS closes up shop this week (not totally true, there is a half day monday) and i now get to sit on my hands untill i transfer back to Massachusetts (also not totally true, the work with RHV will undoubtably pick up). What i have been thinking about lately is how life, or at least my life, has been a series of transitions lately.

I can’t seem to remember when i have been stable. There were 3.5 years at UNM – but the stability there was always marred by grades, girls and alchoal, there was the six month internship at Disney – But going into it i knew it was just a stopgap measure, and there was the time at CNM’s paper – which i knew would end upon completion of a degree. All i really want is a job where i can, at the very least, feel like i’m doing what i want, make a decent income, and live with relative certainty that it won’t end because of time constraints.

Maybe Its the way i grew up, my parents always had stable jobs and didnt have to look for work every so often. That’s not being a writer (ok, maybe Journalism i can get a stable job eventually – but it is going to take alot of grinding). I think i should get used to continually looking for new projects.

That kinda got off topic though. What i’m really more focused on is the transition back to the cape. I’m kinda worried in a sense. There is a part of me that doesnt want to get there and be “swallowed” by Cape Codand there is another side of me that recognizes the little island as a paradise unlike any other IN THE WORLD. Tangent: It’s kind of weird that it takes being away from something to realize exactly what it’s significance is in your life.  K, really wasnt a tangent. It was more line the next point. But going back to the “swallowed comment” i desperately do not want to be stifiled into working things that won’t progress my writing career (I.E. fulltime teaching, retail, other jobs i will enevitably suck at). My main priority needs to be writing and getting my things read, filmed or acted out on a stage. And graduating college. That’s important.

These2 next two months are going to be hard for me simply because of anticipation. I’m anticipating a new school, living at “home” again, making “new” old friends (I havent seen any of those people in seven years – I rarely get there), seeing family, working out, getting healthy, getting read (at playhouses, coffee shops, anywhere), writing the two stories in my head -Hailey Harrison and a football script, and seeing my damn pets.

The last one i think about alot. Obviously i miss seeing the members of my family, but the things that were always by my side when i lived, and visited, in Massachusetts were my two dogs and one cat. I plan on taking the big dog with me everywhere. I’m going to be using her as my motivating factor to get in shape. Hopefully we will spen alot of our time at the beach running or writing (I’d give her a bone to keep her occupied – see! I’m already making plans).

Well this has turned into a big ole SOC (stream of conciousness) pile of crap huh? But that is kinda what the post section is for on a personal blog. I’ll talk to you guys later. Hopefully my lazy ass will write some pages soon. It just sucks to write where i live. It’s not a good set up. I can really only write at work, bars or bookstores.

 

What do you think? Do you agree? Do you love it? Or am i a complete tool? Any response is welcome!

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